Journal Collector Gifts

The early bird got more than anticipated this morning.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Sign my yearbook?"

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

The Working Woman's Magazine

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Kanya West Inspired Children Books.

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'A is for Arse.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Waiting Room Quarterly

"I have an app for that."

Alien Beauty Magazine

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Prayboy

'Once upon a time there was a really lousy editor name Sue. Sue was lazy and stupid, so she was fired, and her boss lived happily ever after. The end.'

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

You trip on it, you buy it.

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

Home Sweet Second Home.

On the cover of Sports Illustrated - Envy

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.