Journal Collector Mugs

The early bird got more than anticipated this morning.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Sign my yearbook?"

The Working Woman's Magazine

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'A is for Arse.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Waiting Room Quarterly

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Prayboy

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"I have an app for that."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Alien Beauty Magazine

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

You trip on it, you buy it.

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

On the cover of Sports Illustrated - Envy

Home Sweet Second Home.