Collector Of Records Gifts

"Very impressive collection of Elvis records, Dad, but have you kept any financial ones?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Robert Fripp

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Jazz is Invented

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Six jazz instruments.

Large print rock'n'roll section

"You know you're getting old when..."

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"What are you doing?"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Groovy Baby

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

'Music & Gym'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Robert Drake

Gramaphone Man.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Music Freak.

Even cowgirls get the blues. 'Well, howdy! I've been lookin' for this here B.B. King album forever!'

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."