Record Collection Curator Gifts

"I don't get it...there are so many cool new bands out...but it looks like you haven't bought anything in forever!"

Snowmen Around The World...

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Large print rock'n'roll section

Board Game Hunter

"You know you're getting old when..."

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

Crane Game. Ball Game.

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Groovy Baby

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

'Music & Gym'

Robert Drake

Gramaphone Man.

Even cowgirls get the blues. 'Well, howdy! I've been lookin' for this here B.B. King album forever!'

If You See Something You Want, Whine!

Islington Angels.

Music Freak.

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

The Music Lover.

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

Record department with rock, crossover and classical sections.

"What the hell's going on here ... ?"

His master's voice

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

My own museum.