Curator Of Collections Gifts

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

You're my Mona Lisa.

At the Museum

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

The Googler

'That's about it so far, Son.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"And this is our media room."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Physician tending a mummy.

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Misunderstood artist

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'