Museum Curator Gifts

The Neapolitan Museum of Art

The Thinker and the Doer.

"This explains the p***s we saw downstairs."

The Museum of Swine Art.

"Of course it's an egg...but it's a chicken to those of us with vision..."

"Frankly, I don't see the resemblance."

At the Met

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"It was a time when men regularly performed great feats of valor but were rarely in touch with their feelings."

"I remember when you could see these all over the place..." "Can we go and see the nurse now?"

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

"The greatest advance of the digital era has been the rebranding of narcissism as sharing."

Natural History Museum: Tree

Department of Archaeology Floor Plan

'Look Larry, this one has air coming out of it!'

Extinct Species Gallery of the Future?

'It's hard to look intimidating with this feather thing going on.'

"Welcome to the Museum of Science and Industry."

'This is what people had to use before they got antennae.'

'Remember use your museum behavior, not your art gallery behavior.'

'Its the most valuable archaeological find of the millennium. To get it here in one piece is a miracle. We'll be rich!

Evolution

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Before they became extinct you could see these all over the place!"

'Museum of Hippy Culture' 'No smoking the Exhibits'

"Why is he thinking? Did he lose his smartphone?"

Museum of Mediocre Art.

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Old man mistakes tattoos for exhibit in art museum.

Iron age man holding an iron.

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

'You could do that.' I did

'I have to disagree. I think the artist is laughing with us.'

"It's an honest piece"