Museum Curator Gifts

The Neapolitan Museum of Art

"This explains the p***s we saw downstairs."

"Frankly, I don't see the resemblance."

At the Met

The Museum of Swine Art.

"Of course it's an egg...but it's a chicken to those of us with vision..."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"I remember when you could see these all over the place..." "Can we go and see the nurse now?"

"It was a time when men regularly performed great feats of valor but were rarely in touch with their feelings."

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

"The greatest advance of the digital era has been the rebranding of narcissism as sharing."

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

Department of Archaeology Floor Plan

'Look Larry, this one has air coming out of it!'

Natural History Museum: Tree

"Welcome to the Museum of Science and Industry."

Extinct Species Gallery of the Future?

'It's hard to look intimidating with this feather thing going on.'

'This is what people had to use before they got antennae.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Evolution

'Remember use your museum behavior, not your art gallery behavior.'

'Its the most valuable archaeological find of the millennium. To get it here in one piece is a miracle. We'll be rich!

Art Museum field trip.

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'Someone will have to row.'

"Why is he thinking? Did he lose his smartphone?"

'I have to disagree. I think the artist is laughing with us.'

'You could do that.' I did

"And here's where daddy used to work...before it became a museum.

Iron age man holding an iron.

'This painting was purchased on a whim by our ex-curator of drawings and paintings.'

The Last Mosquito

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"It's an honest piece"