Instrument Collector Gifts

"It's the cutback in funding. They say he's cheap and versatile."

"Truly a magnificent emperor! While Rome burns, Nero plays an instrument that hasn't been invented yet."

Fred's One Man Band / Joe's One Man Audience.

Piccolo player wanted, must play well with others.

Six jazz instruments.

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

"It seemed important at the time."

Contrabassoon

Dueling Banjos two Banjos about to shoot it out in a Duel.

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

'...Dizzy Gillespie's banjo days.'

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Koto

The Violin Dealers.

"Do you know how to play down the road?"

"What do you mean it doesn't work? It's not meant to go under your chin!"

'Maybe you ought to sell your bagpipe.'

"Oh sure, a nice warm bed, a loving family, a career, but what I really miss is having a xylophone."

Fizz Wipple's All Stars - (except for the second trumpet and the drummer)

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

"I don't know who on Facebook told you, but I can assure you Stradivarius didn't make accordions!"

String Quartet Vending Machine

'This job would be much easier if you didn't play the flute!'

'What the hell kind of keyboard is that?'

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

"We caught these people stockpiling accordions, bagpipes, banjos, vuvuzelas...enough to annoy the entire city to death."

"I said 'blow' not 'suck'!"

Jazz is Invented

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe

"Time for practise, sweety."

Parts of a Bagpipe

"They'd better be some damn fine oboes."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'