Quirky Instrument Collector Gifts

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'

Octopus-bagpipes

They've come a long way since they started in his parents' garage.

A guide to ancient instruments.

Hurdy gurdy

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

Crumhorn

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Jazz is Invented

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Ice shelfie.

Six jazz instruments.

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"Things are looking up!"