Newspaper Collectors Gifts

'Read ALL about it! Newspaper Thief STRIKES again!' (A Newspaper boy with no papers to sell).

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Please Drove Carefully.

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

The Working Woman's Magazine

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Eighteen

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"Recalculating route..."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

"The unlucky lemming"

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."