Table Manners Aficionado Gifts

'A knife and fork-how gross.'

"Both Ears This Way, thank you."

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"You've got a bit of brain on the side of your mouth."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"The last doggy bag."

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west

"What a slobster."

'Don't chew your food.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

"A table for two? Would you like chairs with that, madam?"

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

I'll have a hamburger.

"So you mean to tell me that this business dinner actually involves business?"

"This is what happens when you marry an obedience school dropout."

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

"Once again, Dave blew the date when his instincts got the better of his etiquette."

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

'Smoking section, please.'

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'