Table Manners Expert Gifts

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

Mind your manners and use a rounded tip knife instead.

"Pass the sea salt, please."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"The last doggy bag."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

'Don't chew your food.'

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

'Have you been eating right?'

'It's rude to stretch across the table. Haven't you got a tongue?'

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

'We may be spoiling him but you'll have to admit it's cute.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'

"Soup should be seen and not heard!"

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'

'I see you had egg for breakfast.' - 'Yesterday morning.'

"Gesundheit!"

"If anyone ever asks...it's hard to eat soup with a fork."