Table Manners Gifts

"Gloves off at the table please!" "They're not gloves, they're dirt!"

'Don't talk on the phone with your mouth full.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

"And what made you think that this neanderthal would be able to eat with a knife and fork?"

"I got tossed outta there once, for talking with my mouth full!"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Gesundheit!"

Don't blow your nose on your napkin.

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

Human Cull: 'Year - now's a great time to talk.'

'Don't chew your food.'

'Hey, hey, hey - feet off the table.'

'For goodness sake, don't put your knife in your mouth. But my fork leaks.'

Hey, where are your manners? The squirrel pelt goes on your lap!

'Mitzi, elbows off the table.'

'No saucer again! What do they take me for - a mug?'

'You don't want to gobble? You want to eat with knives and forks?? Hey, did you forget your good manners??!'

'I see you had egg for breakfast.' - 'Yesterday morning.'

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'

'...Five-second rule.'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

When Barry decided to start a campaign for gum control.

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"The last doggy bag."

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west