Table Manners Advocate Gifts

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

'He invented the table, and I invented the manners.'

Don't blow your nose on your napkin.

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"The last doggy bag."

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

'Don't chew your food.'

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

'Have you been eating right?'

'It's rude to stretch across the table. Haven't you got a tongue?'

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

"Not at the table."

"Soup should be seen and not heard!"

I don't care who you are - if you didn't reserve the round table. I'll have to seat you in a booth.

'I see you had egg for breakfast.' - 'Yesterday morning.'

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'

'We may be spoiling him but you'll have to admit it's cute.'

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

"Gesundheit!"

Mom! Billy's censoring me!