Table Manners Guru Gifts

"No mutating at the table, please."

"He'll never stop begging at the table unless we ignore him."

"Down."

"Your manners are impeccable!"

'Dude...you don't have to bust through it like that!'

'Most people use the thongs.'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

"The last doggy bag."

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'Don't chew your food.'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

'It's rude to stretch across the table. Haven't you got a tongue?'

'Have you been eating right?'

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

'I thanked my teacher for teaching me so well, and she fainted.'

'The frogs legs kicked the peas off the plate.'

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'

"Gesundheit!"

'We may be spoiling him but you'll have to admit it's cute.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

'I see you had egg for breakfast.' - 'Yesterday morning.'

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

"Soup should be seen and not heard!"

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'