Table Manners Guru Gifts

"No mutating at the table, please."

"He'll never stop begging at the table unless we ignore him."

"Down."

Break Bread, Not Wind.

"Your manners are impeccable!"

'Dude...you don't have to bust through it like that!'

'Most people use the thongs.'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"The last doggy bag."

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

'Don't chew your food.'

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

'Have you been eating right?'

'It's rude to stretch across the table. Haven't you got a tongue?'

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

'I thanked my teacher for teaching me so well, and she fainted.'

"Not at the table."

I don't care who you are - if you didn't reserve the round table. I'll have to seat you in a booth.

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'

'I see you had egg for breakfast.' - 'Yesterday morning.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!