Table Manner Expert Gifts

"I taught myself to beg."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"The last doggy bag."

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

'Don't chew your food.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'

'We may be spoiling him but you'll have to admit it's cute.'

'I see you had egg for breakfast.' - 'Yesterday morning.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

'The frogs legs kicked the peas off the plate.'

"Soup should be seen and not heard!"

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'