Table Manner Expert Gifts

"I taught myself to beg."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"The last doggy bag."

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Don't chew your food.'

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

"Soup should be seen and not heard!"

'We may be spoiling him but you'll have to admit it's cute.'

Break Bread, Not Wind.

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'

'I see you had egg for breakfast.' - 'Yesterday morning.'

"Gesundheit!"

I don't care who you are - if you didn't reserve the round table. I'll have to seat you in a booth.