Table Manners Humor Gifts

"They know me here Eddie, so for God's sake, don't start washing your food."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"The last doggy bag."

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'Don't chew your food.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

'It's rude to stretch across the table. Haven't you got a tongue?'

'Have you been eating right?'

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"Soup should be seen and not heard!"

'What's the special?'

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'

'We may be spoiling him but you'll have to admit it's cute.'

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'

"Gesundheit!"

Mom! Billy's censoring me!