Table Etiquette Enthusiast Gifts

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

Lunch with Wally: 'Need a napkin?'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

"The last doggy bag."

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

'Don't chew your food.'

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"What a slobster."

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

"This is what happens when you marry an obedience school dropout."

'Have you been eating right?'

I'll have a hamburger.

'It's rude to stretch across the table. Haven't you got a tongue?'

"So you mean to tell me that this business dinner actually involves business?"

"A table for two? Would you like chairs with that, madam?"

'I see you had egg for breakfast.' - 'Yesterday morning.'

'Smoking section, please.'

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'