Table Etiquette Lover Gifts

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

'While you're doing his brain surgery, can you tweak things a bit so he'll stop picking his nose at the dinner table?'

Let's shake on it.

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"The last doggy bag."

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"What a slobster."

'Don't chew your food.'

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

I'll have a hamburger.

"So you mean to tell me that this business dinner actually involves business?"

'Have you been eating right?'

'It's rude to stretch across the table. Haven't you got a tongue?'

"A table for two? Would you like chairs with that, madam?"

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

"This is what happens when you marry an obedience school dropout."

"Not at the table."

"Once again, Dave blew the date when his instincts got the better of his etiquette."

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

'Smoking section, please.'