Table Etiquette Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

Lunch with Wally: 'Need a napkin?'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

'While you're doing his brain surgery, can you tweak things a bit so he'll stop picking his nose at the dinner table?'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"The last doggy bag."

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

'Don't chew your food.'

"What a slobster."

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

I'll have a hamburger.

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"A table for two? Would you like chairs with that, madam?"

"This is what happens when you marry an obedience school dropout."

'Have you been eating right?'

"So you mean to tell me that this business dinner actually involves business?"

'It's rude to stretch across the table. Haven't you got a tongue?'

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

"Not at the table."

"Once again, Dave blew the date when his instincts got the better of his etiquette."

I don't care who you are - if you didn't reserve the round table. I'll have to seat you in a booth.