Swamp Story Fan Gifts

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

'Sweet! Let's break it open and see what it is!'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Sometimes it's easy to see if a swamp creature is on vacation.

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

Halloweek: Eating candy seven days straight.

"Phew! - You've got bat breath."

'Another Scotch?'

Job Interview with the Vampire.

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"You smell … and I mean this in a good way … like a swamp."

'A toxic waste dump? Great idea! I've been wondering how to spruce up the swamp.'

"Relax, Hargraves, … we're all 'Muckety-Mucks' here."

"It's suppose to be tomato juice! That's how you make a Bloody Mary!"

The chosen few

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

"Never think outside the box!"

"I say we throw the damn things overboard."

Halloween Bummer: Your Mom makes you wear a sweater over your costume.

Vampire Humor

Cape costume

A vampire sprinkles salt on a maiden's neck.

'Your test results have come in and, as we feared, you're dead.'

Dracula reading fang shui.

"Ugh! Damn floss..."

"I've been saved! Thank God!"

'What do you call a vampire that you can dip into your tea?...Count Dunkula!'

"...let me guess - two rump steaks, very rare and two bloody marys..."