Swamp Storyteller Gifts

"Sorry for snapping at you like that."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

Crocodile

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"Fanfare for the common man-thing."

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

Crocodile to bird in teeth: 'On a scale of one to ten, what is your pain level?'

'Steroids.'

"You smell … and I mean this in a good way … like a swamp."

'A toxic waste dump? Great idea! I've been wondering how to spruce up the swamp.'

The Neverglades ( Alligator heaven )

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

"Relax, Hargraves, … we're all 'Muckety-Mucks' here."

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

Trap set by bear to catch hunter.

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

"I have this overwhelming urge to peck something other than wood."

Uncle Boney's Gator Farm

Bug: A Fingerplay to Promote Empathy with the Differently Evolved

'Think about it: There were over three million of us co-owning this ant-hill, so we only got a few cents each...'