Forest Storyteller Gifts

"I don't know anything about forest fires. I ate a ranger."

The Environmentalist

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"Where the wild things were."

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

Rude Snowpeople

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

School trip little porters.

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Does the N.R.A. know about this?"

Evidence of the Mythic Unicornbrowcycle,

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

"I'm not really sure what is weirder: that that bear did not maul us, or that he did hug us..."

The Four Horsemen of Trees: Beavers, Hammocks, Bugs, Unpainted Furniture.

If you left the window open and the light on when I was little, the room would fill with insects...

A Salmon Lie

"You're overprotective. Stop telling her not to go out on a limb."

"Well, they look friendly enough."