Outdoor Storyteller Gifts

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

A Salmon Lie

'So what if Tex is sitting on your log? Pick out a new one!'

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Could you forward that to me so I can post it too?"

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

The Environmentalist

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

Support Group for a Good Problem

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A vampire in a canoe.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

Camping.

'One of the first rules, kids, be sure to watch where you step.'

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

Rude Snowpeople

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

"And every year on this very day...he creeps into camp and steals everyones electronics."