Weathered Storyteller Gifts

'In my day, it weren't just cold - it were bleak an' all.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Kirsten Johnson

Rude Snowpeople

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

Baby Bear.

"Aye, but this is the Cairngorms laddie. That'll be �1.15p."

Reading

Gag - a graphic novel

Mephistopheles

"I love this time of year."

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Young Stephen King

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

Purple Fairy

Noah Sent and Received the First Tweet

My Prince.