Weathered Storyteller T-Shirts

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Kirsten Johnson

Rude Snowpeople

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

Reading

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

Baby Bear.

Mephistopheles

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"I love this time of year."

Gag - a graphic novel

Young Stephen King

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

Purple Fairy

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'