Veteran Storyteller T-Shirts

And I got an honorary Purple Heart for sticking myself with one of my flag pins.

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"The knights of the round accent table"

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Remember when we had to get along on twenty-one dollars a month!"

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

Rocket Ark

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

'Oh, to be 75 again!'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

Martin is much gratified by an imposing ceremony

The Magi: Christmas, 1993

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

'How long have you been submitting novels, Grandad?'

"Remember toothache!!!"

'I was warned about online dating.'

"Hearing aids. What did you wish for?"

"When I was a boy, I had to walk five miles through the snow to change the channel."

"I think she's the new nurse. She's been here ever since I can remember."

'It's a rags-to- riches story. You should take the company tour.'

Lawrence of Arabia

"No, you don't get to put your spin on them."