Veteran Storyteller T-Shirts

And I got an honorary Purple Heart for sticking myself with one of my flag pins.

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"The knights of the round accent table"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Remember when we had to get along on twenty-one dollars a month!"

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

Rocket Ark

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

'Oh, to be 75 again!'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

Martin is much gratified by an imposing ceremony

"Remember toothache!!!"

The Magi: Christmas, 1993

'How long have you been submitting novels, Grandad?'

"Hearing aids. What did you wish for?"

When I was your age, I had to walk five miles through snow to skip school.

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

'I was warned about online dating.'

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

"When I was a boy, I had to walk five miles through the snow to change the channel."

"I think she's the new nurse. She's been here ever since I can remember."

'It's a rags-to- riches story. You should take the company tour.'