Historical Storyteller T-Shirts

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

'Remember, me, anything short of victory, and civil war buffs will be replaying your defeat in battlefield re-enactment for generations to come.'

Why the dodo became extinct

Rocket Ark

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'The 'Lord's Prophet,' eh? - I don't remember voting for you!'

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Edgar Allen Poe

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."