Storybook Storyteller T-Shirts

'Jack fell down and broke his crown.'

"But she'll come down eventually, and she'll come down hard."

'I did think a few more of mine would've moved on by now...'

'From the very beginning we felt that defeating the Big Bad Wolf would be meaningless unless we could parlay it into a book deal.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

Rapunzel climbs the tower.

"It's 'Architectural Digest.' "

"I'm having trouble with the part where the lion doesn't just eat the mouse anyway."

"It's the princess." "Tell her I'm not here."

Somebody turns up

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

Princess

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Edgar Allen Poe

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."