Nature Storytellers Gifts

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

Fox and Hares

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

The Environmentalist

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

"You're overprotective. Stop telling her not to go out on a limb."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

A Salmon Lie

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

If you left the window open and the light on when I was little, the room would fill with insects...

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

'Tell us about the time you met Charles Darwin, grandad.'

'What did you do with the apple I gave you yesterday?'

'This is terrible. If the plankton go out on strike, it'll disrupt the entire food chain.'

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

'Tarzan'

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"