Wildlife Storytellers Gifts

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"Happy Gnu Year!"

"Eat me"

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Killer? Is that what they call us? Eh don't say killer tiger or killer charm or killer wolf."

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

'Tarzan'

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

"I'll have a vole, please Carol"

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

Trap set by bear to catch hunter.

'Yes, it's a big horn and useful when I charge, but it tends to make me cross-eyed...'

Armadillo playing accordion.

Bug: A Fingerplay to Promote Empathy with the Differently Evolved

'Think about it: There were over three million of us co-owning this ant-hill, so we only got a few cents each...'

"I have this overwhelming urge to peck something other than wood."

'Do they put up signs that say, 'Do not feed the moose.'?...'