Animal Story Tellers Gifts

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

'She's just great with the children.'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

"It's the dog."

"Whoever said you can drive a horse to water, but you can't make him drink? (hiccup)

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

'Tarzan'

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

Trap set by bear to catch hunter.

"Well, team-sports are rather difficult to organise around here: Just keep practising your bilboqiet Darling..."

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"