Animal Story Aficionados Gifts

'Ever since I lost that stupid race, I've been a laughing stock wherever I go...'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

Aesop's Fables: The Fox and the Crow

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

'Will I ever catch my tail?'

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

"Yes, I know son, I've been through that too: Sometimes, we are resented for being clever..."

'I swear officer: I had just stopped to pull up my socks when the weasel went 'pop'...'

"He's preaching his 'Clever Hans' theory again!"

Cow who jumped over the moon with a calf hanging of its udders.

The dove returns to Noah's Ark carrying an olive branch in a martini.

"Well Doc, maybe I'm losing my mind, but last night, as I was howling at the Moo, I could have sworn I saw a cow jumping over it!"

"And here with the grizzly details."

'Remember the plan: on the final stretch, you go down.'

"I told him that whole elephants being afraid of us thing was just a myth. But did he listen? Now look at him. What a putz."

"I came as soon as I heard."

Owl and the Pussycat.

'How to Remove Spots and Humps'