Animal Story Enthusiasts Gifts

The Tortoise and the Hare

'He says he's come to view the property.'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- King Of The Commune

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

Aesop's Fables: The Fox and the Crow

"Whoever said you can drive a horse to water, but you can't make him drink? (hiccup)

'Tarzan'

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

'Will I ever catch my tail?'

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the upcoming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

"Well, team-sports are rather difficult to organise around here: Just keep practising your bilboqiet Darling..."

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

'Not so easy, is it?'