Animal Story Enthusiast Gifts

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"I've had a number of harassment complaints against you...what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

'How to Remove Spots and Humps'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

Aesop's Fables: The Fox and the Crow

'Will I ever catch my tail?'

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the upcoming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

'I swear officer: I had just stopped to pull up my socks when the weasel went 'pop'...'

"Yes, I know son, I've been through that too: Sometimes, we are resented for being clever..."

Cow who jumped over the moon with a calf hanging of its udders.

"He's preaching his 'Clever Hans' theory again!"

"And here with the grizzly details."

The dove returns to Noah's Ark carrying an olive branch in a martini.

"Well Doc, maybe I'm losing my mind, but last night, as I was howling at the Moo, I could have sworn I saw a cow jumping over it!"

"I told him that whole elephants being afraid of us thing was just a myth. But did he listen? Now look at him. What a putz."

"I came as soon as I heard."

The First Day of Christmas

Owl and the Pussycat.