Animal Stories Fan Gifts

'Will I ever catch my tail?'

'And now, Tiddles will report on our pest control division.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

Aesop's Fables: The Fox and the Crow

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

"We love the story but marketing wants less squeaking and more trumpeting."

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

'I swear officer: I had just stopped to pull up my socks when the weasel went 'pop'...'

Cow who jumped over the moon with a calf hanging of its udders.

"And here with the grizzly details."

The dove returns to Noah's Ark carrying an olive branch in a martini.

"Yes, I know son, I've been through that too: Sometimes, we are resented for being clever..."

"Well Doc, maybe I'm losing my mind, but last night, as I was howling at the Moo, I could have sworn I saw a cow jumping over it!"

"I told him that whole elephants being afraid of us thing was just a myth. But did he listen? Now look at him. What a putz."

Extinct Animals

"I came as soon as I heard."

The First Day of Christmas

Owl and the Pussycat.