Funny Animal Stories Fan Gifts

"Because he's been corrupted by talk radio."

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

Dog traps the postman.

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

"The good news is, the side effects of your nut allergy aren't really dangerous."

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

After Hours in the Pet Shop.

"I've never known a child like him. He's always finding things."

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

'Will I ever catch my tail?'

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.

'Well yes, they sent me into space: But to be perfectly honest, I had no idea as to what was going on...'

"Sorry, dude. You've been voted out of the pack!"

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

"We love the story but marketing wants less squeaking and more trumpeting."

"He's a bird-dog."

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

"Well, if I had to guess -- I'd say it's undigested homework."

'I swear officer: I had just stopped to pull up my socks when the weasel went 'pop'...'