Animal Storytellers Gifts

"Then I joined the Army."

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

'I can't remember where I've buried my bones: You haven't happened to have seen them, have you Mr Mole?'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

'She's just great with the children.'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

"It's the dog."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'Tarzan'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

Trap set by bear to catch hunter.

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.

"Well, team-sports are rather difficult to organise around here: Just keep practising your bilboqiet Darling..."

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"