Nature Storytelling Fan Gifts

"Don't dive bomb right here, it's too shallow..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

The Fourth Little Pig

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Moby Dick

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Hansel and Gretal

Alberich steals the gold

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

Ask A Silly Question.

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"So, kids, you should all be thankful we don't live during a potato famine. Especially you, Jimmy."

Romulus and Remus