Nature Storytelling Fan T-Shirts

"Don't dive bomb right here, it's too shallow..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

The Fourth Little Pig

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

This side is the gag reel.

Moby Dick

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"This is what's known as a book."

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Hansel and Gretal

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

Alberich steals the gold

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

Ask A Silly Question.

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Romulus and Remus

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"