Nature Documentary Fan Gifts

"Whenever I watch the Nature Channel I get survivor's guilt."

"Glad we're not burdened with any concept of heaven and hell!"

Armchair Predator (cat watches Discovery Channel)

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"Hold on, you can't attack her! Can't you see she's pregnant!"

"No gnus is NOT good gnus."

Lions try reverse psychology: 'Zebras taste yukky! 'And these are way too boney!'

'He's been sleeping up there ever since he saw that 'Jaguars' program on the nature channel.'

Leopard

'Call me lazy if you want, but being a predator is hard work, so I'm having a go at being a scavenger...'

The Hibernation Channel

'Yeah, I know: Go for the weak and old... Silly me, I went after one that was young and strong...'

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

'Whoa! You're right - they DO shed their skins!'

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

Smirking hyena.

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

Salmon jumping up waterfall on film

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Food Chain

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Live Stream

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Crocodile

Maria Sibylla Merian

"But what's my motivation?"

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

'At least he kept his promise not to go to the media or government.'

Rain Forest Filmcrew