Nature Documentary Fans Gifts

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"I'm weighing the risk of brain damage against a life of celibacy."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Food Chain

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Live Stream

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

Crocodile

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Maria Sibylla Merian

"But what's my motivation?"

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

The Hidden World of Desks

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

"The notches on his tusks? That's the number of rivals my daddy has defeated!"

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

Rain Forest Filmcrew

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

"I got the idea watching David Attenborough."

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'

"Okay - I can see you now."

Field guide to North American plumbers

Filming the Crocodile.

"Hold on, you can't attack her! Can't you see she's pregnant!"