Nature Documentaries Gifts

Wally's on Discovery Channel tonight!

"But what's my motivation?"

"Tonight, on Animal Planet, the mating habits of the pink-bellied Rudy Park."

Paul the house sparrow, yet another of life's creatures undone by the David Attenborough cameras.

"Wait, there's a wildlife documentary crew waiting! They love filming crocodile attacks: it may not be a safe place to cross. . ."

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

"Stop it! There's a wildlife photographer around, so I want you to behave!"

"Glady, National Geographic is gone! Break out the beef jerky again!"

"I got the idea watching David Attenborough."

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

'You were right it wasn't Jacques Cousteau.'

Crocodile

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

Giraffe on three TV screens.

A ostrich leans out of the tv to pick up bird food.

'Whoa! You're right - they DO shed their skins!'

Colin's attempt to convince friends that his 80' surround sound TV was only used to watch nature documentaries was doomed to failure.

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Food Chain

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Live Stream

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

Maria Sibylla Merian

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

People Planet.

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

Steve Irwin.

The Hidden World of Desks

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'