Nature Documentary Filmmaker Gifts

The Hidden World of Desks

'See,there's what we are doing wrong.We always stop and look back.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Food Chain

Live Stream

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Crocodile

Kirsten Johnson

Police film evidence

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Maria Sibylla Merian

"But what's my motivation?"

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

'I still say these shots need more action.'

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'Hold it - someone's filming this without permission!'

Michael Moore

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

People Planet.

'Coming up next...more of man's inhumanity to man...in hi-def.'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

Ernie is a documentary filmmaker who tells stories of folks in their professional lives -- I think he should wonk on his film titles more. One film looked at the surprisingly competitive cutthroat world of the dry cleaning business. "The Hanger Games." In another, we see astronomers traveling to remote locations to escape light pollution. "The Dark Night." Ernie showed us the bond among young butchers in an increasingly vegan world. "Stand by Meat"! And he told us the story of a man who i

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'Because it's there.' ... 'Because he may fall.'

Steve Irwin.

Casting Wildlife Films.

An environmental documentary crew filming garbage washing up on the beach.

Rain Forest Filmcrew

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

'You're a funny beggar, switching off the sound just because Joanna Lumley is ENTHUSING!'

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'