Nature Documentary Filmmaker Gifts

The Hidden World of Desks

'See,there's what we are doing wrong.We always stop and look back.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Food Chain

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Live Stream

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Police film evidence

Kirsten Johnson

Crocodile

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"But what's my motivation?"

Maria Sibylla Merian

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

'I still say these shots need more action.'

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

'Hold it - someone's filming this without permission!'

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

'Coming up next...more of man's inhumanity to man...in hi-def.'

'Because it's there.' ... 'Because he may fall.'

Rain Forest Filmcrew

Casting Wildlife Films.

An environmental documentary crew filming garbage washing up on the beach.

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

'You're a funny beggar, switching off the sound just because Joanna Lumley is ENTHUSING!'