Wildlife Documentaries Gifts

Mousehole TV

'Do you mind if we switch to the Discovery Channel? There's a wonderful show on migratory habits of gray seals.'

'Okay, you can watch 'animal planet'....just don't try any of that stuff at home.'

'I love poetry and adore the theatre but watch any wildlife documentary and it's 'killer this, killer that'...'

'Is it me or are those dinosaurs looking younger?'

'Something tells me Attenborough and his crew have been at it again.'

"Yeah, my attack on the gnu made it to the final cut of the documentary and it was shown in slow motion: awesome!"

"I dare say you have seen more interesting wildlife programmes. For the last hour you've been watching the gold-fish tank."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

Crocodile

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"But what's my motivation?"

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

Rain Forest Filmcrew

Casting Wildlife Films.

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

The Hidden World of Desks

Filming the Crocodile.

Paul the house sparrow, yet another of life's creatures undone by the David Attenborough cameras.

"I got the idea watching David Attenborough."

"We'll have whatever they are at the next table."

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'

'He had a hop-on part in a David Attenborough special.'

Big Brother - Final Series.

Field guide to North American plumbers

"Remember when this was just going to be forty days and forty nights?"

"Harold... they know."

"Hooowwwwlll!!"

Happy Birthday, Bimba