Wildlife Documentary Buff Gifts

'Something tells me Attenborough and his crew have been at it again.'

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

"Yeah, my attack on the gnu made it to the final cut of the documentary and it was shown in slow motion: awesome!"

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"But what's my motivation?"

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

Steve Irwin.

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

Casting Wildlife Films.

Rain Forest Filmcrew

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

Mousehole TV

"Hold on, you can't attack her! Can't you see she's pregnant!"

"Okay - I can see you now."

Filming the Crocodile.

Field guide to North American plumbers

'He's been sleeping up there ever since he saw that 'Jaguars' program on the nature channel.'

Reintroducing wolves to the wild.

Paul the house sparrow, yet another of life's creatures undone by the David Attenborough cameras.

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'

Big Brother - Final Series.

"We'll have whatever they are at the next table."

'I'm sorry, but I'll have to eat you. . . they're filming a documentary.'

"Harold... they know."

"Forget it, he's got a brain the size of a walnut: No point reasoning with him to let us cross..."

"Could you guys come back later? We're not exhibiting our best behaviors."