Wildlife Documentary Fanatic Gifts

"Could you guys come back later? We're not exhibiting our best behaviors."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

"But what's my motivation?"

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

Steve Irwin.

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

Casting Wildlife Films.

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

"I am sorry. I'm going to have to let you go. You just can't seem to learn the words."

Do bears take drug tests in the woods?

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

Mousehole TV

Big Brother - Final Series.

'He's been sleeping up there ever since he saw that 'Jaguars' program on the nature channel.'

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'

"We'll have whatever they are at the next table."

Reintroducing wolves to the wild.

Field guide to North American plumbers

"Hold on, you can't attack her! Can't you see she's pregnant!"

Filming the Crocodile.

Paul the house sparrow, yet another of life's creatures undone by the David Attenborough cameras.

'I'm sorry, but I'll have to eat you. . . they're filming a documentary.'

"Harold... they know."

'Anything of biological interest in your neck of the woods, Anderson?'

'Whoa! You're right - they DO shed their skins!'

Happy Birthday, Bimba

The naturalist Sir David Shuttleboro had a life long affinity with wild life.