Nature Documentary Fans Pillows

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"I'm weighing the risk of brain damage against a life of celibacy."

'Bobby, are you watching those National Geographic horror shows again?'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Food Chain

Live Stream

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

Crocodile

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

Maria Sibylla Merian

"But what's my motivation?"

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

People Planet.

Steve Irwin.

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

The Hidden World of Desks

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

"The notches on his tusks? That's the number of rivals my daddy has defeated!"

Rain Forest Filmcrew

Reintroducing wolves to the wild.

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'

"Okay - I can see you now."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

'He's been sleeping up there ever since he saw that 'Jaguars' program on the nature channel.'

'He had a hop-on part in a David Attenborough special.'