Nature Documentary Lover Pillows

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"Shark week, shark week, shark week. It's always about shark week."

"Life in a Bowl' Narrated by David Attenborough

'Now another chance to see 'The Frozen Planet'.'

Colin's attempt to convince friends that his 80' surround sound TV was only used to watch nature documentaries was doomed to failure.

'Is it me or are those dinosaurs looking younger?'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Food Chain

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Live Stream

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Crocodile

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"But what's my motivation?"

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

Maria Sibylla Merian

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

People Planet.

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

Steve Irwin.

Rain Forest Filmcrew

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

The Hidden World of Desks

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

"The notches on his tusks? That's the number of rivals my daddy has defeated!"

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

Paul the house sparrow, yet another of life's creatures undone by the David Attenborough cameras.

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'