Nature Documentary Buff Pillows

'Oh, yes, Larry, we all know who's the Alpha male around here!'

"Okay - I can see you now."

'Wooo-sorry, everyone-for a minute there I thought I was back...well, nevermind.'

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

A ostrich leans out of the tv to pick up bird food.

"Forget it, he's got a brain the size of a walnut: No point reasoning with him to let us cross..."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Food Chain

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

Live Stream

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Crocodile

Cinéma Vérité

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"But what's my motivation?"

Maria Sibylla Merian

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

People Planet.

'Hold it - someone's filming this without permission!'

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

Steve Irwin.

Sicko.

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

The Hidden World of Desks

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

"The notches on his tusks? That's the number of rivals my daddy has defeated!"

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'