Nature Documentary Buffs Pillows

"Tonight, on Animal Planet, the mating habits of the pink-bellied Rudy Park."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Food Chain

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Live Stream

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Police film evidence

Crocodile

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Maria Sibylla Merian

"But what's my motivation?"

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

People Planet.

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

Steve Irwin.

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

"The notches on his tusks? That's the number of rivals my daddy has defeated!"

The Hidden World of Desks

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

Rain Forest Filmcrew

Mousehole TV

Reintroducing wolves to the wild.

"We'll have whatever they are at the next table."

'He had a hop-on part in a David Attenborough special.'

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."